August 17, 2004
10:17 AM
* a tall, tanned guy (mas maganda if he has toned abs =p) surprising me with a bouquet of fresh, scented flowers...
* being serenaded....
* a guy checking on me every time...
* but if he can't, he apologitacally looks in my eyes and tell me, "now i want my time only for you..."
* a guy who bravely stands and talks to my parents even if he's breaking down inside...
* getting surprise letters...
* a guy who keeps on smiling, pati ako nahahawa na...
* being offered a seat and he stands behind you...
* i am talking when he suddenly interrupts and say, "i love you..."
* being walked to the car/house/school.
* a guy drying every tear i cry...
* and makes me not stop laughing...
* if i'm busy doing something, he still say, "is there anything i can do to help?"
* if none, he does his own thing as well, yet from time to time, he would ring me and say "i hope you're ok..."
* when he has done something that've hurt me, he arranges for us to talk... and tells me with dog-eyes, "please forgive me?"
* i hug him, and he leaps in joy.
* when a guy cries...
* he proudly tells in a crowd his love for me...
* after i keep on talking because i am angry, he says, "baby, calm down..."
* then he compromises...
* when i've hurt him, he assures me that he still loves me-- no matter what.
* huuuggggsss.....
* he stares at me...
* i stare at him and he blushes...
* he offers us to pray together...
* then he tells God how lucky he is to have me...
* and he whispers to me "i don't wanna lose you...."
well, at least, someone DOES make me drool right now... thanks, hun..
9:56 AM
i texted him awhile ago.. and told him i need space. i need to be alone.. i don't want to go on hurting...
kilala ko sarili ko, and i know my limits.
there's a part where i told him i wanna make sure if i still love him. kasi i dont know kung love pa ba tawag dito.
i hadn't had time for myself... oras ko, binigay ko sa kanya. utak ko, binigay ko rin. pride ko, binabaan ko na. naniwala ako. nag-sakripisyo. nag-try magbago. magulang ko, tinalikuran ko sa kanya.
mahal ko, eh.
tapos ano? pagsisinungaling, panloloko, at pagpapaasa lang pala makukuha ko.
pero, ok lang.. sige parin.
'yun ang akala ko. pero hindi pala..
ngayon, sarili ko naman yung nawawala... hinahanap ko, hinahabol ko... sarili ko naman yung nag-tataksil...
ngayon paano ko masasabing mahal ko siya, kung mismong AKO nawawala?
August 05, 2004
6:13 PM
i'm pulling my hair incessantly!! how can i ever resolve this? ='(
im still at school. i had my p.e class awhile ago from 8 to 9, and take note: 'yun lang class ko! the problem is i have to watch a play entitled bombita at 7pm. imagine what did i do for 10 long hours? haay, grabe talaga.
it's a good thing jo was there. i was with her the whole time. we went out to alimall just to watch a movie, and.... actually, the original plan was we were supposed to go to megamall or rob galeria, but then since alimall is nearer, 'dun nalang.
anyway, i have to cut this na. 6:30 na, eh.
BTW, don't watch Eternal Sunshine. it's not worth chipping for.
