Pause

(more pictures to come)

washed the dishes in the morning, helped in preparing our main dish (note on helped and preparing, not cooked), fixed our uber messy room while brother and sister were enjoying watching anime, brother and sister scolded by mom (haha finally justice =p), took a bath, went to SM Bicutan with sister to print Christmas pictures for lola (I photoshopped it, then to my dismay, printing turned out horrible!) and to buy baby tees from Artwork (a local company which primarily sells shirts at affordable prices with great designs) for Shanz and Madz (both names end in Z but are not related at all haha), got home at 7 and to my surprise, all the visitors were already there, ate dinner, had a small chat with Michelle (my cousin from dad's side. haven't seen her for a year), took pictures, lady cousins and i had our eyes glued on our cute uncle (which is my mom's cousin) and hated the fact the he is our uncle (but compared to my cousin, Ate Ne, i wasn't really that into him), drank Vodka Cruiser Blueberry, drank another Vodka, this time, it's the red one (is that Strawberry?), drank coffee, gave gifts, took pictures again, found out cute uncle has many girlfriends (haha turn-off), kid around with Shanz's shobe (younger sister), took pictures again, then bid bye-bye to everyone.

Parties and reunions are tremendously fun, but if you realize you still have 2 more to attend to with less than a week to juggle all those pending schoolwork, you could just wish you can put into halt all the fun for a while.

Unsure Of

quote from my Theology (on Marriage & Sexuality) professor, Sir Mike Asis: "Once the romantic feelings are gone, we suspect that love is also gone. It's easy to love someone when we have warm, fuzzy feelings but when they're not there, it becomes hard. That's based on our experiences. It is not the same as saying that genuine love has to be completely devoid of feelings. It's just one should not let go just because the feelings have taken a back seat.

You see, we can choose to love someone forever. Love is, essentially, a choice."

(originally taken from my blockmate Pau's LiveJournal)

am I ready to take that choice this 2007?

Could it just be nothing?

If he told you you're beautiful, invited you out for lunch, and greeted you a Merry Christmas on the nail of Christmas Eve? But that is all there is to it, aside from a few text messages in between.

I have never pondered about it until now. At first I thought he was just being cocky.

Happy Holidays from me and my family!

From L-R: (1) Yours truly holding 2 out of her 3 gifts! The bag's from Shanz (my cousin's gf) and the strawberry thingie over there (which is actually a deflatable chair?) was given to me by Mich, one of my indies (My group of girl-friends at school and I call each other the "Indie women" Funny name, isn't it? A separate post someday for its history.) Mich even sent that through LBC (kinda like our local FedEx here in the Philippines) just so I can open it on Christmas Eve :) (2) That's me and Katha, my favorite little cousin whom I also call my little-self-me (because she reminds me so much of myself when I was younger) (3) And that is Katha's 1-year-old brother, Rajah! At 1 year old, he already got his hair shaved! Cool, huh? And look at his eyes! It's so huuuuge! (4) My favorite tita (aunt), Tita Ni (mother of Kat and Raj), me, and mi mama! (5) My siblings and I with lola (grandma) (6) Again, with tita and mama. (7) Raj at Papa Bong's grave (Papa Bong passed away this March. I miss him. He's my favorite uncle...) (8) My brother and sister, Jules and Ina! They're trying to have a wonderful pose here, hehehe. (9) And lastly, me again! Those eyeglasses are so fake! My eyes are fine. I just wanted to wear them for a change! It's funny because my vision gets more blurry when I am wearing the glasses compared to when I'm not!

Christmas this year is much different compared to before. I think it is the first time that I have spent Christmas with lola, who lives in the province (a one-hour airplane trip away). I am also even surprised because on the 28th, almost all of my extended relatives (My lola's siblings, my mom's cousins, my 2nd-3rd cousins, etcetera!) are coming over, and this is something new to me because we never had a family reunion of some sort before. And then on the 29th, I have a get-together with a long-lost friend from Elementary, then I am also probably going to meet up with my High School buds before the year ends. My schedule is so full, how can I allot some time for myself (I have tons of readings for History)? Classes resume on the 4th. Argggh. Isn't it so early? But I guess school and self worries can wait. I am still making the most out of my break. Whoever said that being single during the holidays is a pity? That person must have probably isolated him/herself from his/her family and friends. If that is the case, then truly, it must be really saaad.

On another note, I just wanted to share this observation. Here in the Philippines, we love the holidays so much (Even if we barely have enough money to spend on luxurious gifts because, yes, we're stuck in a downward economy. But this thus reflects that we Filipinos simply just love the spirit Christmas brings, that's all.) Celebration starts here early in September and ends after New Year's Eve (sometimes even until the Feast of Kings), so meaning, we are still "celebrating" Christmas here. And ask me how? We eaaaat! I don't know why Filipinos love eating so much. Eating here is an understatement for feasting. How can one actually eat enough when he/she is bombarded by food? And how can one have that so much food in a third world country like ours? Filipinos will never ever run out of food to eat, trust me.

So in combat to all those lard, I downloaded 3 tae bo exercises in video. I wish I can be effortlessly thin. But yeah, genes say I can't.

Anyway, how about you? How are your holidays?

I'm overwhelmed. I have readers from different parts of the world. Maligayang Pasko sa inyong lahat! (Merry Christmas to all of you) :)

Before the Celebration

Dear Papa God,

2006 started out to be really challenging, but to my surprise, it is now reaching a wonderful, fulfilling end.

Thank you Papa God for all the lessons You have taught me this year. Thank You for showing me how letting go could indeed be an art. Thank You for allowing me to confront my fears, and for ultimately providing me the realization that my fears are not as scary as I thought. Now all I can do is pat myself at my back (literally, I'm doing it! Haha) and say, "Hey, you have now proven to be really strong!". Thank you for putting angels here on earth as it is with them I experience YOU. They constantly stand by my side in the guise of my parents, my siblings, my relatives, my friends, my professors, authors of my favorite books, those random people I come across with at school, in the net, or wherever but have said/wrote something that has really refined the way I look at life. Thank you for the producers of TV shows and movies too (haha). As long as there's entertainment, my life shall never go boring. Basically, thank You for the assurance: that I can be so much more, that there is still an extensive space for me to grow, and in it, is already EVERYTHING I need.

Thank You for the opportunities and indelible experiences You have given me. Thank You for my school; I would probably have never discovered the beauty of learning in any other place. Thank You for my long-sought-after freedom! Now I have memories of going out with friends at night, crashing friends's places for sleepovers, and having out of town trips. :)

Thank You also for that plane ticket to the States next year (woohooo!! finaaaaally! haha) and the digicam I have always wanted. :)

But to my shame, forgive me if it took me this long to finally understand You. For the past grueling years, I complained so much on why I couldn't feel You. You must had a hard time trying to catch my attention, and so as Your last resort, You took away my "god" and turned my life around. Altering my life and seeing that I have to get use to the adjustments must have been hard for You too.

Even if our relationship is back, forgive me for not talking to You as often as it used to be when I was younger. But you know what God, I know You are aware that are relationship has matured (not that I am making an excuse). Our relationship works the way it is with my best friends for years, Kit and Shen. I have known the two of them for so long, but we barely have the time to catch up and tell stories to each other. Nevertheless, I go through life still feeling their presence, and by the time I talk to them, it would always seem as if months have not passed us by. With You, I may not always open my mouth to pray, but my heart will never be latched, for it always listens. The moment I see the sun rising, I already feel You, and my heart can only be filled with praise and thanks. But at times Lord, please forgive my pride. I rely on myself too much that I forget to put all of my confidence in You.

A few minutes to go, and Christmas is here. Before I celebrate it with my loved ones, let me proclaim my love for you, Papa God. I love You.

Thanks so much for 2006.


Yours, Iya