If he told you you're beautiful, invited you out for lunch, and greeted you a Merry Christmas on the nail of Christmas Eve? But that is all there is to it, aside from a few text messages in between.
I have never pondered about it until now. At first I thought he was just being cocky.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Happy Holidays from me and my family!
From L-R: (1) Yours truly holding 2 out of her 3 gifts! The bag's from Shanz (my cousin's gf) and the strawberry thingie over there (which is actually a deflatable chair?) was given to me by Mich, one of my indies (My group of girl-friends at school and I call each other the "Indie women" Funny name, isn't it? A separate post someday for its history.) Mich even sent that through LBC (kinda like our local FedEx here in the Philippines) just so I can open it on Christmas Eve :) (2) That's me and Katha, my favorite little cousin whom I also call my little-self-me (because she reminds me so much of myself when I was younger) (3) And that is Katha's 1-year-old brother, Rajah! At 1 year old, he already got his hair shaved! Cool, huh? And look at his eyes! It's so huuuuge! (4) My favorite tita (aunt), Tita Ni (mother of Kat and Raj), me, and mi mama! (5) My siblings and I with lola (grandma) (6) Again, with tita and mama. (7) Raj at Papa Bong's grave (Papa Bong passed away this March. I miss him. He's my favorite uncle...) (8) My brother and sister, Jules and Ina! They're trying to have a wonderful pose here, hehehe. (9) And lastly, me again! Those eyeglasses are so fake! My eyes are fine. I just wanted to wear them for a change! It's funny because my vision gets more blurry when I am wearing the glasses compared to when I'm not!
Christmas this year is much different compared to before. I think it is the first time that I have spent Christmas with lola, who lives in the province (a one-hour airplane trip away). I am also even surprised because on the 28th, almost all of my extended relatives (My lola's siblings, my mom's cousins, my 2nd-3rd cousins, etcetera!) are coming over, and this is something new to me because we never had a family reunion of some sort before. And then on the 29th, I have a get-together with a long-lost friend from Elementary, then I am also probably going to meet up with my High School buds before the year ends. My schedule is so full, how can I allot some time for myself (I have tons of readings for History)? Classes resume on the 4th. Argggh. Isn't it so early? But I guess school and self worries can wait. I am still making the most out of my break. Whoever said that being single during the holidays is a pity? That person must have probably isolated him/herself from his/her family and friends. If that is the case, then truly, it must be really saaad.
On another note, I just wanted to share this observation. Here in the Philippines, we love the holidays so much (Even if we barely have enough money to spend on luxurious gifts because, yes, we're stuck in a downward economy. But this thus reflects that we Filipinos simply just love the spirit Christmas brings, that's all.) Celebration starts here early in September and ends after New Year's Eve (sometimes even until the Feast of Kings), so meaning, we are still "celebrating" Christmas here. And ask me how? We eaaaat! I don't know why Filipinos love eating so much. Eating here is an understatement for feasting. How can one actually eat enough when he/she is bombarded by food? And how can one have that so much food in a third world country like ours? Filipinos will never ever run out of food to eat, trust me.
So in combat to all those lard, I downloaded 3 tae bo exercises in video. I wish I can be effortlessly thin. But yeah, genes say I can't.
Anyway, how about you? How are your holidays?
I'm overwhelmed. I have readers from different parts of the world. Maligayang Pasko sa inyong lahat! (Merry Christmas to all of you) :)
Christmas this year is much different compared to before. I think it is the first time that I have spent Christmas with lola, who lives in the province (a one-hour airplane trip away). I am also even surprised because on the 28th, almost all of my extended relatives (My lola's siblings, my mom's cousins, my 2nd-3rd cousins, etcetera!) are coming over, and this is something new to me because we never had a family reunion of some sort before. And then on the 29th, I have a get-together with a long-lost friend from Elementary, then I am also probably going to meet up with my High School buds before the year ends. My schedule is so full, how can I allot some time for myself (I have tons of readings for History)? Classes resume on the 4th. Argggh. Isn't it so early? But I guess school and self worries can wait. I am still making the most out of my break. Whoever said that being single during the holidays is a pity? That person must have probably isolated him/herself from his/her family and friends. If that is the case, then truly, it must be really saaad.
On another note, I just wanted to share this observation. Here in the Philippines, we love the holidays so much (Even if we barely have enough money to spend on luxurious gifts because, yes, we're stuck in a downward economy. But this thus reflects that we Filipinos simply just love the spirit Christmas brings, that's all.) Celebration starts here early in September and ends after New Year's Eve (sometimes even until the Feast of Kings), so meaning, we are still "celebrating" Christmas here. And ask me how? We eaaaat! I don't know why Filipinos love eating so much. Eating here is an understatement for feasting. How can one actually eat enough when he/she is bombarded by food? And how can one have that so much food in a third world country like ours? Filipinos will never ever run out of food to eat, trust me.
So in combat to all those lard, I downloaded 3 tae bo exercises in video. I wish I can be effortlessly thin. But yeah, genes say I can't.
Anyway, how about you? How are your holidays?
I'm overwhelmed. I have readers from different parts of the world. Maligayang Pasko sa inyong lahat! (Merry Christmas to all of you) :)
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Before the Celebration
Dear Papa God,
2006 started out to be really challenging, but to my surprise, it is now reaching a wonderful, fulfilling end.
Thank you Papa God for all the lessons You have taught me this year. Thank You for showing me how letting go could indeed be an art. Thank You for allowing me to confront my fears, and for ultimately providing me the realization that my fears are not as scary as I thought. Now all I can do is pat myself at my back (literally, I'm doing it! Haha) and say, "Hey, you have now proven to be really strong!". Thank you for putting angels here on earth as it is with them I experience YOU. They constantly stand by my side in the guise of my parents, my siblings, my relatives, my friends, my professors, authors of my favorite books, those random people I come across with at school, in the net, or wherever but have said/wrote something that has really refined the way I look at life. Thank you for the producers of TV shows and movies too (haha). As long as there's entertainment, my life shall never go boring. Basically, thank You for the assurance: that I can be so much more, that there is still an extensive space for me to grow, and in it, is already EVERYTHING I need.
Thank You for the opportunities and indelible experiences You have given me. Thank You for my school; I would probably have never discovered the beauty of learning in any other place. Thank You for my long-sought-after freedom! Now I have memories of going out with friends at night, crashing friends's places for sleepovers, and having out of town trips. :)
Thank You also for that plane ticket to the States next year (woohooo!! finaaaaally! haha) and the digicam I have always wanted. :)
But to my shame, forgive me if it took me this long to finally understand You. For the past grueling years, I complained so much on why I couldn't feel You. You must had a hard time trying to catch my attention, and so as Your last resort, You took away my "god" and turned my life around. Altering my life and seeing that I have to get use to the adjustments must have been hard for You too.
Even if our relationship is back, forgive me for not talking to You as often as it used to be when I was younger. But you know what God, I know You are aware that are relationship has matured (not that I am making an excuse). Our relationship works the way it is with my best friends for years, Kit and Shen. I have known the two of them for so long, but we barely have the time to catch up and tell stories to each other. Nevertheless, I go through life still feeling their presence, and by the time I talk to them, it would always seem as if months have not passed us by. With You, I may not always open my mouth to pray, but my heart will never be latched, for it always listens. The moment I see the sun rising, I already feel You, and my heart can only be filled with praise and thanks. But at times Lord, please forgive my pride. I rely on myself too much that I forget to put all of my confidence in You.
A few minutes to go, and Christmas is here. Before I celebrate it with my loved ones, let me proclaim my love for you, Papa God. I love You.
Thanks so much for 2006.
Yours, Iya
2006 started out to be really challenging, but to my surprise, it is now reaching a wonderful, fulfilling end.
Thank you Papa God for all the lessons You have taught me this year. Thank You for showing me how letting go could indeed be an art. Thank You for allowing me to confront my fears, and for ultimately providing me the realization that my fears are not as scary as I thought. Now all I can do is pat myself at my back (literally, I'm doing it! Haha) and say, "Hey, you have now proven to be really strong!". Thank you for putting angels here on earth as it is with them I experience YOU. They constantly stand by my side in the guise of my parents, my siblings, my relatives, my friends, my professors, authors of my favorite books, those random people I come across with at school, in the net, or wherever but have said/wrote something that has really refined the way I look at life. Thank you for the producers of TV shows and movies too (haha). As long as there's entertainment, my life shall never go boring. Basically, thank You for the assurance: that I can be so much more, that there is still an extensive space for me to grow, and in it, is already EVERYTHING I need.
Thank You for the opportunities and indelible experiences You have given me. Thank You for my school; I would probably have never discovered the beauty of learning in any other place. Thank You for my long-sought-after freedom! Now I have memories of going out with friends at night, crashing friends's places for sleepovers, and having out of town trips. :)
Thank You also for that plane ticket to the States next year (woohooo!! finaaaaally! haha) and the digicam I have always wanted. :)
But to my shame, forgive me if it took me this long to finally understand You. For the past grueling years, I complained so much on why I couldn't feel You. You must had a hard time trying to catch my attention, and so as Your last resort, You took away my "god" and turned my life around. Altering my life and seeing that I have to get use to the adjustments must have been hard for You too.
Even if our relationship is back, forgive me for not talking to You as often as it used to be when I was younger. But you know what God, I know You are aware that are relationship has matured (not that I am making an excuse). Our relationship works the way it is with my best friends for years, Kit and Shen. I have known the two of them for so long, but we barely have the time to catch up and tell stories to each other. Nevertheless, I go through life still feeling their presence, and by the time I talk to them, it would always seem as if months have not passed us by. With You, I may not always open my mouth to pray, but my heart will never be latched, for it always listens. The moment I see the sun rising, I already feel You, and my heart can only be filled with praise and thanks. But at times Lord, please forgive my pride. I rely on myself too much that I forget to put all of my confidence in You.
A few minutes to go, and Christmas is here. Before I celebrate it with my loved ones, let me proclaim my love for you, Papa God. I love You.
Thanks so much for 2006.
Yours, Iya
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
The Internet Actually
I have a repressed childhood. I was exposed to bullies, freeloaders, drug users, smokers, and all the scary sorts of people a fragile child should had not condemned just yet. I actually thought the world was a scary place. I was never comfortable with my peers, who were either harvesting boyfriends at the age of 10 or were already putting make-up on at the age of 11. Being a kid then felt like being a victim of a menacing tribe. Jaded by such environment, I opted most of the time to go through our dark Grade School halls alone. Books were somehow able to lug in entertainment to the drama of my life. Music wielded itself as amusement, but jaded, confused, and traumatized I was still.
Until the Internet took place.
I first experimented with the Internet when I checked out the website of my erstwhile best-loved band, The Moffatts. I had no idea what to expect from the website, but its message board was indeed able to lift my dampened spirit, for I was “meeting” with the band’s fans—my fellow aficionados—from all over the world. We gather merrily in the site as we discussed not only about the band but of our lives as well. Through the online friendships I have formed, I finally felt for the first time that my life was being acknowledged. I realized there are people like me as well, and there are lots of them; and it only took a timely discovery of the Internet for me to see that wonderful truth.
And as they say, one event in your life can change the rest. Yet in my case, I believe the Internet has done more than change. It started my life. Online experiences nourished my real-time relationships. From then on, I was eager to make friends, and the trauma my childhood experiences had brought me gradually wore off in time. The Internet has also allowed me to take into account a person’s soul, may it be through his or her writings or posted artworks. And as I, too, involve myself in the Net, I finally am in the same way bringing my innermost self into the open—a habit actually thought impossible when I was a kid.
Until the Internet took place.
I first experimented with the Internet when I checked out the website of my erstwhile best-loved band, The Moffatts. I had no idea what to expect from the website, but its message board was indeed able to lift my dampened spirit, for I was “meeting” with the band’s fans—my fellow aficionados—from all over the world. We gather merrily in the site as we discussed not only about the band but of our lives as well. Through the online friendships I have formed, I finally felt for the first time that my life was being acknowledged. I realized there are people like me as well, and there are lots of them; and it only took a timely discovery of the Internet for me to see that wonderful truth.
And as they say, one event in your life can change the rest. Yet in my case, I believe the Internet has done more than change. It started my life. Online experiences nourished my real-time relationships. From then on, I was eager to make friends, and the trauma my childhood experiences had brought me gradually wore off in time. The Internet has also allowed me to take into account a person’s soul, may it be through his or her writings or posted artworks. And as I, too, involve myself in the Net, I finally am in the same way bringing my innermost self into the open—a habit actually thought impossible when I was a kid.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Late Thank You's
I told my mom days before my birthday, “I’m excited. I’m turning 19”. Surprised, she asked, “Even more excited than you were on your 18th birthday?” I rolled my eyes and exclaimed the answer as if I were some know-it-all, “Of course! Why? Because it’s my last teen birthday!” She gave this puzzling look, put down the newspaper she was reading, and retorted straight to my face, “Sometimes, I don’t get you.”
I wanted her to understand, but I just smirked back at her. Words, no matter how vast Mom, can still fail to describe the exact play of reason.
But this time, let me try:
I’m excited for 19 because it’s the last year before I turn twenty 20, which will then mark two lived decades of my life.
It’s the last year before my last year in Ateneo. Time would surely run in a flash by then, and I have to prepare for the nearing reality that I am going to EARN A LIVING FOR MYSELF. SOON.
But if you come to think about it, these lasts are not really excitement-worthy. Actually, what I’m really thrilled about are the firsts:
It’s my first year to be single, technically (after what, 6 years with a few months being single in between?). I’m making up for all the lost time I have supposedly given myself when I was crying and pining over ex-boyfriend 1 & 2, when I spent daydreaming of crushes^100, and when I was pointlessly musing on who could be the next man I can possibly spend my present life with (yuck ang hopeless romantic ah! hehe).
Now, for the first time, I’m content to be spending it with myself, with all my lovely friends and family meshing in the background.
It’s the first year I am excited for Christmas once again. It used to be hard spending Christmases when I know I have been “bad” during the year. At least now, I’m sure Santa Clause, Rudolph and his gang are giving me the best Yuletide present ever: peace of mind.
It’s the first year I am going to spend more time praying, reflecting, reading, writing, painting, designing, learning, discovering, traveling, going out with friends, playing the keyboard, eating not too much nor too few, sleeping just the right amount of hours, jogging every before sunrise, buying treats for my siblings, watching dvds, plays, and movies, saying I LOVE YOU to those people who have mattered, and making a difference too, even just for a day in a person’s life.
This is the first week of my last teen year. Before I know it, I’m already saying goodbye to 19. Being a teen is indeed an intoxicating, jouncing experience… and I am glad you have been part of the ride:
Besh, Shen, Mich, Tin, Jo, Spice, Myx, Agnes, Mon, Rhea, Stacy, Nikki, Annie, Kuya Jed, Meow, Bea, Eric, Madz, Bebe, Shanz, Ate Ne, Don, Kuya Titard, Ate Merryl, Kayla, Bea, Abby, Tita Ni, Tita Mims, Tita Babes, Tito Rowil, Tito Ping, Tita Beth, Tito John, Papa Bong, Tita Belen, Papa Boy, Tita Hally, Tito Mangks, Tita Arlene, Tita Nenette, Tita Belle, Vince, Michelle, Katha, Dahlia, JC & Wilbert (HAHA! Yes even ex-bfs count), my attached friends’s bf/gfs (for loving them), my friends’s ex-bf/gfs (I just have to thank these people because they brought about marvelous lessons to my friends, whom I can say are very much stronger now :p), Bedans ’04 (especially the Medsci troupe), Ateneo blockmates, professors, orgmates (!!! *haha* !!!), The Moffatts (I was their obsessive fangirl hehe), Dr. House, Dr. Mcdreamy, Dr. Burke, Adam Brody, Alanis Morissette, John Mayer, Jack Johnson, another Adam (you’re so gwapo in 19 East hahaha), crushes, Paulo Coelho, A. Smith, Murakami, and all the other authors I adore, the inventor of the Internet, Photoshop, Limewire, Bittorrent, YM!, Friendster, Multiply, Livejournal, cameras, and cellular phones, Ate Cel, Kuya, Ina, Papa, and Mama…
THANK YOU.
And those whom I forgot (you know how frail my memory is), but are sure of having contributed to my crazy being, thank you also. :)
I wanted her to understand, but I just smirked back at her. Words, no matter how vast Mom, can still fail to describe the exact play of reason.
But this time, let me try:
I’m excited for 19 because it’s the last year before I turn twenty 20, which will then mark two lived decades of my life.
It’s the last year before my last year in Ateneo. Time would surely run in a flash by then, and I have to prepare for the nearing reality that I am going to EARN A LIVING FOR MYSELF. SOON.
But if you come to think about it, these lasts are not really excitement-worthy. Actually, what I’m really thrilled about are the firsts:
It’s my first year to be single, technically (after what, 6 years with a few months being single in between?). I’m making up for all the lost time I have supposedly given myself when I was crying and pining over ex-boyfriend 1 & 2, when I spent daydreaming of crushes^100, and when I was pointlessly musing on who could be the next man I can possibly spend my present life with (yuck ang hopeless romantic ah! hehe).
Now, for the first time, I’m content to be spending it with myself, with all my lovely friends and family meshing in the background.
It’s the first year I am excited for Christmas once again. It used to be hard spending Christmases when I know I have been “bad” during the year. At least now, I’m sure Santa Clause, Rudolph and his gang are giving me the best Yuletide present ever: peace of mind.
It’s the first year I am going to spend more time praying, reflecting, reading, writing, painting, designing, learning, discovering, traveling, going out with friends, playing the keyboard, eating not too much nor too few, sleeping just the right amount of hours, jogging every before sunrise, buying treats for my siblings, watching dvds, plays, and movies, saying I LOVE YOU to those people who have mattered, and making a difference too, even just for a day in a person’s life.
This is the first week of my last teen year. Before I know it, I’m already saying goodbye to 19. Being a teen is indeed an intoxicating, jouncing experience… and I am glad you have been part of the ride:
Besh, Shen, Mich, Tin, Jo, Spice, Myx, Agnes, Mon, Rhea, Stacy, Nikki, Annie, Kuya Jed, Meow, Bea, Eric, Madz, Bebe, Shanz, Ate Ne, Don, Kuya Titard, Ate Merryl, Kayla, Bea, Abby, Tita Ni, Tita Mims, Tita Babes, Tito Rowil, Tito Ping, Tita Beth, Tito John, Papa Bong, Tita Belen, Papa Boy, Tita Hally, Tito Mangks, Tita Arlene, Tita Nenette, Tita Belle, Vince, Michelle, Katha, Dahlia, JC & Wilbert (HAHA! Yes even ex-bfs count), my attached friends’s bf/gfs (for loving them), my friends’s ex-bf/gfs (I just have to thank these people because they brought about marvelous lessons to my friends, whom I can say are very much stronger now :p), Bedans ’04 (especially the Medsci troupe), Ateneo blockmates, professors, orgmates (!!! *haha* !!!), The Moffatts (I was their obsessive fangirl hehe), Dr. House, Dr. Mcdreamy, Dr. Burke, Adam Brody, Alanis Morissette, John Mayer, Jack Johnson, another Adam (you’re so gwapo in 19 East hahaha), crushes, Paulo Coelho, A. Smith, Murakami, and all the other authors I adore, the inventor of the Internet, Photoshop, Limewire, Bittorrent, YM!, Friendster, Multiply, Livejournal, cameras, and cellular phones, Ate Cel, Kuya, Ina, Papa, and Mama…
THANK YOU.
And those whom I forgot (you know how frail my memory is), but are sure of having contributed to my crazy being, thank you also. :)
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