My New Year Isn't Starting Out Right

Reminiscing the past 365 days and looking forward to the unwritten days ahead are a common ritual so to welcome the New Year. I’ve seen it everywhere—the thank yous, the wishes, the apologies—in blogs, in text messages, heck, even in YouTube. Having considered my 2006 as one of the freshest (me out fresh from an almost 3-year relationship, encountering fresh experiences, acquiring a fresh outlook on life, refreshing friendships), I was actually really excited to make a nostalgic year-ender entry.

But when the phone had to ring, and I had to hear my uncle’s glum voice from the other line, it dawned on me that there is still something wrong. Stammering, he shelled out to me the bad news: my digital camera (both my birthday and Christmas present) is still not arriving. My uncle lives in New Jersey (where my camera is $200 cheaper) and his sister-in-law, who was vacationing in California, was supposed to bring home with her my new camera. For months, I have been anticipating for that day, when my camera and I are to meet face to face; but due to some conflict, it had to be put on ice for some more.

So right now you might probably be asking yourself, has she become that shallow? It only took the delay of her camera’s arrival for her to be suddenly disheartened?

It is upsetting to hear that I have to wait a few more weeks to finally bag my camera. But if I was able to mindlessly wait for it for months, how could a few weeks even hurt? Being camera-less on the first day of the new year didn’t really upset me, instead, it made me realize what else I was missing.

Reminiscing the past 365 days and looking forward to the year ahead were a ritual this person and I shared. It was already the 1st of January, and it struck me, that person was not there with me anymore to capture it… and there is no assurance of delays to even keep me waiting.

Pause

(more pictures to come)

washed the dishes in the morning, helped in preparing our main dish (note on helped and preparing, not cooked), fixed our uber messy room while brother and sister were enjoying watching anime, brother and sister scolded by mom (haha finally justice =p), took a bath, went to SM Bicutan with sister to print Christmas pictures for lola (I photoshopped it, then to my dismay, printing turned out horrible!) and to buy baby tees from Artwork (a local company which primarily sells shirts at affordable prices with great designs) for Shanz and Madz (both names end in Z but are not related at all haha), got home at 7 and to my surprise, all the visitors were already there, ate dinner, had a small chat with Michelle (my cousin from dad's side. haven't seen her for a year), took pictures, lady cousins and i had our eyes glued on our cute uncle (which is my mom's cousin) and hated the fact the he is our uncle (but compared to my cousin, Ate Ne, i wasn't really that into him), drank Vodka Cruiser Blueberry, drank another Vodka, this time, it's the red one (is that Strawberry?), drank coffee, gave gifts, took pictures again, found out cute uncle has many girlfriends (haha turn-off), kid around with Shanz's shobe (younger sister), took pictures again, then bid bye-bye to everyone.

Parties and reunions are tremendously fun, but if you realize you still have 2 more to attend to with less than a week to juggle all those pending schoolwork, you could just wish you can put into halt all the fun for a while.

Unsure Of

quote from my Theology (on Marriage & Sexuality) professor, Sir Mike Asis: "Once the romantic feelings are gone, we suspect that love is also gone. It's easy to love someone when we have warm, fuzzy feelings but when they're not there, it becomes hard. That's based on our experiences. It is not the same as saying that genuine love has to be completely devoid of feelings. It's just one should not let go just because the feelings have taken a back seat.

You see, we can choose to love someone forever. Love is, essentially, a choice."

(originally taken from my blockmate Pau's LiveJournal)

am I ready to take that choice this 2007?

Could it just be nothing?

If he told you you're beautiful, invited you out for lunch, and greeted you a Merry Christmas on the nail of Christmas Eve? But that is all there is to it, aside from a few text messages in between.

I have never pondered about it until now. At first I thought he was just being cocky.

Happy Holidays from me and my family!

From L-R: (1) Yours truly holding 2 out of her 3 gifts! The bag's from Shanz (my cousin's gf) and the strawberry thingie over there (which is actually a deflatable chair?) was given to me by Mich, one of my indies (My group of girl-friends at school and I call each other the "Indie women" Funny name, isn't it? A separate post someday for its history.) Mich even sent that through LBC (kinda like our local FedEx here in the Philippines) just so I can open it on Christmas Eve :) (2) That's me and Katha, my favorite little cousin whom I also call my little-self-me (because she reminds me so much of myself when I was younger) (3) And that is Katha's 1-year-old brother, Rajah! At 1 year old, he already got his hair shaved! Cool, huh? And look at his eyes! It's so huuuuge! (4) My favorite tita (aunt), Tita Ni (mother of Kat and Raj), me, and mi mama! (5) My siblings and I with lola (grandma) (6) Again, with tita and mama. (7) Raj at Papa Bong's grave (Papa Bong passed away this March. I miss him. He's my favorite uncle...) (8) My brother and sister, Jules and Ina! They're trying to have a wonderful pose here, hehehe. (9) And lastly, me again! Those eyeglasses are so fake! My eyes are fine. I just wanted to wear them for a change! It's funny because my vision gets more blurry when I am wearing the glasses compared to when I'm not!

Christmas this year is much different compared to before. I think it is the first time that I have spent Christmas with lola, who lives in the province (a one-hour airplane trip away). I am also even surprised because on the 28th, almost all of my extended relatives (My lola's siblings, my mom's cousins, my 2nd-3rd cousins, etcetera!) are coming over, and this is something new to me because we never had a family reunion of some sort before. And then on the 29th, I have a get-together with a long-lost friend from Elementary, then I am also probably going to meet up with my High School buds before the year ends. My schedule is so full, how can I allot some time for myself (I have tons of readings for History)? Classes resume on the 4th. Argggh. Isn't it so early? But I guess school and self worries can wait. I am still making the most out of my break. Whoever said that being single during the holidays is a pity? That person must have probably isolated him/herself from his/her family and friends. If that is the case, then truly, it must be really saaad.

On another note, I just wanted to share this observation. Here in the Philippines, we love the holidays so much (Even if we barely have enough money to spend on luxurious gifts because, yes, we're stuck in a downward economy. But this thus reflects that we Filipinos simply just love the spirit Christmas brings, that's all.) Celebration starts here early in September and ends after New Year's Eve (sometimes even until the Feast of Kings), so meaning, we are still "celebrating" Christmas here. And ask me how? We eaaaat! I don't know why Filipinos love eating so much. Eating here is an understatement for feasting. How can one actually eat enough when he/she is bombarded by food? And how can one have that so much food in a third world country like ours? Filipinos will never ever run out of food to eat, trust me.

So in combat to all those lard, I downloaded 3 tae bo exercises in video. I wish I can be effortlessly thin. But yeah, genes say I can't.

Anyway, how about you? How are your holidays?

I'm overwhelmed. I have readers from different parts of the world. Maligayang Pasko sa inyong lahat! (Merry Christmas to all of you) :)