Indeed, indeed.
Sisters; best friends
Near yet so far
Holiday feast
Mother, son, and our visitor for the holidays
Someone's got a new best friend!
Don't worry, I shall lose weight.
For the meantime, may you ward off all those holiday fat.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
Blue Christmas
I really can't believe it's already the 24th today. I can't believe that a few hours from now, we will all be exchanging gifts under our old 8-feet Christmas tree. I can't believe I haven't even wrapped my gifts yet. To make it worse, I am not yet even done with my Christmas shopping! I really can't believe I'm all shook up this Christmas, to think that a survey showed that there are more Filipinos enjoying this year's holiday season.
Is it because of my impending graduation? It daunts me that I am totally CLUELESS on where to go after college. I was sure of what I wanted: writing, handling media, touching people's lives. But after my practicum in an advertising agency last summer, I became so unsure of that combination.
Clouding my hindsight even more, I suddenly don't feel secure living (and eventually building a family and growing old) in the Philippines. That is after knowing how damned our justice system really is through testimonies of some people I know of. That is after I went to Hong Kong and the States and saw that taxes were not invented for the beneficiary of shady politicians.
Or well, maybe I'm just inflicted with what they all call the Senior Year syndrome (seems to be this is everyone's cover story now). Could part of it be the fact that I am still unprepared to face the real world here, thus now, thoughts of being a fugitive from my own home country instantly became so tempting?
If it is, I can't believe I'd run away from a country, where Christmas celebration is incomparable, where bibingkas and puto bumbongs are the best, and where street kids, hankering after our regular pasta pamasko, are still left starving.
I'm sure these kids want to get out of this rut too (and so a million other helpless Filipinos). It's just that I'm burdened with a choice to flee. While these kids don't have any, not even the right to live.
Is it because of my impending graduation? It daunts me that I am totally CLUELESS on where to go after college. I was sure of what I wanted: writing, handling media, touching people's lives. But after my practicum in an advertising agency last summer, I became so unsure of that combination.
Clouding my hindsight even more, I suddenly don't feel secure living (and eventually building a family and growing old) in the Philippines. That is after knowing how damned our justice system really is through testimonies of some people I know of. That is after I went to Hong Kong and the States and saw that taxes were not invented for the beneficiary of shady politicians.
Or well, maybe I'm just inflicted with what they all call the Senior Year syndrome (seems to be this is everyone's cover story now). Could part of it be the fact that I am still unprepared to face the real world here, thus now, thoughts of being a fugitive from my own home country instantly became so tempting?
If it is, I can't believe I'd run away from a country, where Christmas celebration is incomparable, where bibingkas and puto bumbongs are the best, and where street kids, hankering after our regular pasta pamasko, are still left starving.
I'm sure these kids want to get out of this rut too (and so a million other helpless Filipinos). It's just that I'm burdened with a choice to flee. While these kids don't have any, not even the right to live.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
20, Don't Mess with Me
Ang hirap mag-update! Kakainis! Ilang oras bago ako makapagsulat ng 'decent entry'. Eh kasi naman sinimulan ko 'to ng Inggles, kaya inisip ko, dapat Inggles na lahat! Eh ang mahirap, kapag nagsusulat ako, nakasanayan ko na i-outline muna. Yun kasi turo sa Basic English class namin noong first year. Hay naku! Bahala na si Batman! Isusulat ko lang kung anong unang pumasok sa utak ko. Akalain mo, kapag gusto ko magsulat dito, magbe-brainstorm pa ko, tapos topic outline, tapos first draft, 2nd draft, x draft, edit, edit, edit, tapos saka pa lang final draft!! Kakainis!! What a rigorous process. Yan tuloy, anong nangyari? Iilan lang ang posts dito! Kaya agree talaga ako doon sa quote na Perfection is a terrible taskmaster. Dahil gusto mo iperfect lagi, hindi mo tuloy namamaster! HELLO. Wala naman kasing grade requirement tong blogging. Bakit ba ako nagpapapressure.
*
Anyway. So, what's up with me? Well... I've turned 20 and a lot has changed the past year. For one, I've been to Hong Kong and the US.. That's a record for someone who hasn't been abroad ever since (compared to most of my classmates who were traveling since they were in diapers hehe). From now on, I swear I would travel at least once a year to a place I have never been to my whole life (doesn't matter even if it's just in the Phils!). I'm (almost) done with thesis. Change of career plans - I don't want to go into Advertising anymore. I realized that in order to survive in that industry, you have to have either the guts to sell your ideas or a mind of a genius to come up with bizarre, obviously-this-is-the-plan plan. Neither of which is innate to me. Plus I am uncomfortable brainstorming in a large group. Lagi akong napepressure magisip ng puwedeng pambato na idea, but the pressure doesn't do anything except fry my brain. I know myself. I need to think first by my own and rehearse my lines, even anticipate the flow of discussion, before I can negotiate and converse in a lengthy formal (formal since it's work) discussion with people. So great. I learned all of this just in time. Just in time before GRADUATION. Just in time for me who can't reverse my way back and pursue another career.
*
I'm ___ lbs. heavy, and dieting seems impossible. Savoring Kimchi, munching a bar of Lindt milk chocolate-in short, EATING-is the next best thing to getting a boyfriend. Retail therapy won't work since there aren't enough clothes that can fit me anymore (or maybe I'm just exaggerating).
*
Wow. I wonder how worse can a quarter life crisis be.
*
Anyway. So, what's up with me? Well... I've turned 20 and a lot has changed the past year. For one, I've been to Hong Kong and the US.. That's a record for someone who hasn't been abroad ever since (compared to most of my classmates who were traveling since they were in diapers hehe). From now on, I swear I would travel at least once a year to a place I have never been to my whole life (doesn't matter even if it's just in the Phils!). I'm (almost) done with thesis. Change of career plans - I don't want to go into Advertising anymore. I realized that in order to survive in that industry, you have to have either the guts to sell your ideas or a mind of a genius to come up with bizarre, obviously-this-is-the-plan plan. Neither of which is innate to me. Plus I am uncomfortable brainstorming in a large group. Lagi akong napepressure magisip ng puwedeng pambato na idea, but the pressure doesn't do anything except fry my brain. I know myself. I need to think first by my own and rehearse my lines, even anticipate the flow of discussion, before I can negotiate and converse in a lengthy formal (formal since it's work) discussion with people. So great. I learned all of this just in time. Just in time before GRADUATION. Just in time for me who can't reverse my way back and pursue another career.
*
I'm ___ lbs. heavy, and dieting seems impossible. Savoring Kimchi, munching a bar of Lindt milk chocolate-in short, EATING-is the next best thing to getting a boyfriend. Retail therapy won't work since there aren't enough clothes that can fit me anymore (or maybe I'm just exaggerating).
*
Wow. I wonder how worse can a quarter life crisis be.
Monday, September 10, 2007
I’m a Perfectionist but I Suck at Time Management
And I can't explain why or how that much, or else I'll be whacking my brain again to find the right words to match this heavy feeling I'm feeling (yes, I don't care if I'm repeating my words. I just don't want to care anymore.)
And I can't afford to explain some more, lest I'll feel guilty because I'm supposed to be working on my make-up History paper which is due in an hour.
I just need to let this out. I don't want to graduate yet; I want to stay in school forever. But God, why do deadlines kill? I need to REST. Not just sleep.
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