I really can't believe it's already the 24th today. I can't believe that a few hours from now, we will all be exchanging gifts under our old 8-feet Christmas tree. I can't believe I haven't even wrapped my gifts yet. To make it worse, I am not yet even done with my Christmas shopping! I really can't believe I'm all shook up this Christmas, to think that a survey showed that there are more Filipinos enjoying this year's holiday season.
Is it because of my impending graduation? It daunts me that I am totally CLUELESS on where to go after college. I was sure of what I wanted: writing, handling media, touching people's lives. But after my practicum in an advertising agency last summer, I became so unsure of that combination.
Clouding my hindsight even more, I suddenly don't feel secure living (and eventually building a family and growing old) in the Philippines. That is after knowing how damned our justice system really is through testimonies of some people I know of. That is after I went to Hong Kong and the States and saw that taxes were not invented for the beneficiary of shady politicians.
Or well, maybe I'm just inflicted with what they all call the Senior Year syndrome (seems to be this is everyone's cover story now). Could part of it be the fact that I am still unprepared to face the real world here, thus now, thoughts of being a fugitive from my own home country instantly became so tempting?
If it is, I can't believe I'd run away from a country, where Christmas celebration is incomparable, where bibingkas and puto bumbongs are the best, and where street kids, hankering after our regular pasta pamasko, are still left starving.
I'm sure these kids want to get out of this rut too (and so a million other helpless Filipinos). It's just that I'm burdened with a choice to flee. While these kids don't have any, not even the right to live.
No comments:
Post a Comment