never the same.

seeing my blockmate cry have reminded me of grade school.

unlike many others, i was in my most studious mode way back then. i did abandon my childhood for high grades, and i had lost control of myself along the way. before, as soon as i got home, i would open my bag and start on my homework. i would wake up even extra early during exams (i remember waking up 3 in the morning to study when i was 11!). i'd join every oratorical contest, reading interpretative contest, essay writing contest, etc. with such hard work, i was hoping everything will pay off. it had to anyway, right? however, things never really came my way. there were times i'd still get a line of 8 in my exams... and yes, i did get frustrated over that (ewww, i was such an obsessive-compulsive nerd). there was a time i got 2nd place in an inter-school writing competition, however, there was no reward, not even a certificate! when i got back in school, no one really believed me because i have no proof whatsoever. arrrrgh. and to top it all, my classmates labelled me of everything unpleasant (as i thought so before)--- nerd, geek, dweeb, bookworm.

and how did i survive?

i just cried. heaps. buckets. mountains. ALL THE TIME.

i looked like such a weakling, but they didn't know... crying gave me strength.

then i learned to pray. and things were never, ever the same again.