here's what i learned for the past 2 years:
1: treat your loved one as your bestfriend. open up to him whatever insight, whatever resentment, whatever excitement, whatever feeling. in the long run, romance may fade away, but the deep friendship you have will keep you still.
2: respect him. respect his stand, even if at times, it is conflicting with yours. this was hard for me since I am a self-confessed imperious girlfriend at times (haha). i occasionaly ignore whatever explanation he says when we fight. i will always, always, exert whatever i think/feel/assume is right. however, i end up pissing him off. then i realize that a guy's explanation does make sense somehow (but still not all the time =p), if you try to reach out to his side as well.
3: both of you should plan how to manage your relationship. how do you do this? well for example, we strategize on how to avoid unnecessary conflicts. this is good because we also get to learn about each other more. sometimes talks like this seem to be so Oprah. but hey, if he really loves you, he'd do whatever it takes to compromise right?
4: FORGIVE. this does not just mean you only have to forgive him. forgive yourself also for your weaknesses and shortcomings. then you can forgive him for his.
5: give sufficient input to your relationship. input = your time, or any extra effort. sufficient means just enough, and make sure "enough" doesn't meddle with all your other priorities in life. if you prioritize your relationship above anything else, trust me... you'd end up losing yourself.
6: in an argument, most girls want to talk it away, while most guys opt for silence first. before, whenever either i or he gets mad, i would always insist that we talk on the phone right away. then i would regularly get mad even more because he would usually not get my point. then a much more heated argument will occur. that's why right now, whenever we fight, both of us choose to be silent first (to think), then we both decide to talk.
7: it is okay to tell him what you want. guys do want to see their girl happy (since it boosts their pride, hehe.), but what frustrates them is that they don't seem to know how. before, i was wondering why he hasn't given me flowers yet, to think that we're more than a year already. then i opened it up to him. then he told me that he thought i dislike flowers since it's not something i could keep. i said, "no, it's okay. it's sweet." =p the following day, he showed up in our doorstep carrying a bouquet of flowers! :D the technique on this is you have to make sure you don't sound so demanding. just enlighten his mind, because trust me, most guys are so clueless.
8: and lastly, CELEBRATE. monthsaries and anniversaries are just reminders of how long you've been through. the CELEBRATION is meant for every single day you share together. celebrate on what you have, and be happy. LOVE doesn't have to exhaust you... because LOVE is truly the greatest feeling in the world.. :D :D
here's a scrapbook he made for me. he contacted my friends to write a message as well. for those who wrote, thank you! *hug*
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